When Love Comes Tumbling Down

I couldn’t pass this up. The military briefly looked into making a gay bomb. Let’s let the article tell the story:

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soldiers would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

The full article is here.

So many jokes…and stereotypes. It sounds like a plot for porn film. Man, there’s war going on, but my armor is really chaffing me. Mind if I take off my pants? (cue bad seventies funk music). Or maybe they thought the enemy would throw down their weapons and start singing show tunes? Or maybe make bitchy remarks about the enemy’s uniforms? Ask for a minimosa with their MRE?

I know this is Ohio in 1994, but really, who has this job? This is an example of the Peter Principle. This really illustrates the oxymoron, military intelligence. This is why, satire is impossible.

So Ann Coulter and a Priest Walk Into a Gay Bar...

I'd like to think that comedy and politics are like oil and water, but that's not a correct similie. Comedians have always found a rich vein of comedy in politics. But politicos are not funny. Watching a politician interviewed on The Daily Show or The Colbert Report is fun because you're seeing professional comedians riff during an interview. But while the politician is trying to spin or look good to younger viewers, they mostly look uncomfortable. You might get lucky and see a politico brought down a peg or two if Stewart of Colbert are in a devilish mood, but it's nothing illuminating.

President Bush cracks jokes all the time; there are just not funny. At all. Most of the time, his jokes are surreal, having no apparent reference. But those folks at his extremely-inclusive rallies laugh like he was a sharpest wit in the room. Here's one quotation:

"I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That's a pretty cool first name, isn't it, Mayo. Pass the Mayo."

I think people laugh because he is the POTUS. Have you ever laughed at your boss' joke and then walked away wondering why you laughed? There is an inborn need to please your superiors, which means laughing at unfunny jokes. If Bush was a stranger at a barbeque and made a joke like that he would be met with an awkward silence.

Comedy definitely does not mix with ideology. Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter say they are making jokes, but to have insults rise above pettiness, they have to be funny. Calling someone a femi-nazi or a fag isn't really funny for anyone over twelve. Playing on someone's fear and hate doesn't make for wit. The picture above comes from a right-wing tee-shirt company. Nuke the Moon? Tee-shirt jokes, like bumper stickers are not that funny.

And it's not just the right-wing either. I once spent a dull night watching a left-wing feminist comedy troop. Not funny. At all. You have to be a comedian before any ideology. I think Jon Stewart senses this; when his audience clearly hates the right-wing blowhard, he keeps them in line, avoiding easy jokes that his lefty audience would love. He senses that once you give yourself to ideology it becomes funny only to the true believers, and even then they are laughing out of hate and not true humor. Colbert turns ideology on its ear with his spot-on satire, but his show's heart is pure comedy rather than scathing left-wing anger.

What is funny is the picture of the models the tee-shirt company uses to sell their wares. I'm guessing they are the daughters of the owner. They are blonde, blue-eyed, and holding weapons. They're like little Ann Coulters before they start starving themselves. The weapons they are holding is a Joycean epiphany, a little detail that illuminates the weird mix of fear, paranoia, violence and Aryan sex appeal that the right cling too. Keep those weapons handy, kids; the crazed, multi-kulti, gay socialists want to take you away and make you bake pot cookies for Medea Benjamin’s presidential campaign.