Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers

Evidently there is an eternal battle between wine drinkers and beer drinkers. In that fight, we all know the beer drinkers will win because they hang out with the hell raisers. And although I love good wine, my heart belongs to beer. But, alas, according to a wonderful article in Slate, wine consumption is increasing while beer consumption is down. It's a great article, by the way, written by the well-named Field Maloney. Seriously, wouldn't you want to have a beer with some one named Field Maloney.

In a two page article, Maloney discusses trends, statistics, marketing, and history. I have no qualms with the article, but the beer he is talking about is mass produced beer, the macro-breweries. And even if beer sales are stagnating, craft beer sales (or micro-brews if you like) have increased. Maloney notes this in a side bar, but it seems a little disingenuous not to mention it in the main body of the article. But he makes some interesting points, such as:

Meanwhile, the American middle classes have fast become connoisseurs of everything—coffee, '80s Japanese garage-rock bands, environmentalist toilet paper. Now, Americans who want the exclusivity that connoisseurship offers but didn't want to seem like snobs can have it both ways. Beer's approachability became less of a virtue. Ironically, in the ultimate about-face, craft-brew drinkers lifted the language of wine. (Tasting notes for a pale ale from the Web site Beer Advocate: "Nose is floral, like orange blossoms, with some citric rind and soft apple.")

I disagree about the want for exclusivity. I think people like connoisseurship with beer because people are sensual creatures and a beer that tastes good is sensual, for me at least. I agree with Maloney that beer is enjoyed upfront as a way to get loaded, while wine has a pretension that it’s not about getting loaded, when in reality it is. If any one has traveled the wine country, first and foremost it’s about getting fucked up in a pastoral setting. But being a beer connoisseur is about the explosion of taste in your mouth. It really is a party in my mouth. I don’t care if you think I’m a snob. I’m not drinking beer (or wine for that matter) to show status; I’m drinking a good tasting beverage that makes me happy.

He then talks of beer marketers trying to entice this aficionado class of drinkers:

…beer marketers seem torn between broadening their appeal and energizing their base. But brand repositioning has to be at least somewhat convincing: In 2005, Anheuser-Busch released a malt liquor called Bistro 8, a "new fermented beverage created in collaboration with Master Chefs to complement Bistro Fare. Bistro 8 features the aromas of exotic fruits, spices and citrus.…" Bud executives pulled it.

Again, Maloney is only looking at the macro-breweries, who brew for money rather than love. Craft breweries don’t have to reposition because all of their beers can be paired with food, perhaps with a wider range of food. Anheuser-Busch tries to latch on every fad there is. One that struck me as incredible lame was something called B2E, pronounced Bee to the E. It’s caffeinated beer. Bud was trying to cash in on all those lame-os ordering vodka red bulls, another disgusting drink. I never tried B2E, but I’m sure it sucked. Vodka red bulls taste like children’s aspirin. Try the Irish coffee if you want to be wired and drunk. Or cocaine and martinis.

Maloney also talks of the uniqueness of wine:

The hallmark of beer is consistency: A brewer strives to make batch after batch of Pilsener so it tastes the same—and often succeeds without much difficulty. Wine is more variable: The sugar levels and tannins and acidity of the grapes fluctuate from year to year, and so does the character of the resulting wines. This explains why the whole concept of vintages is so central to wine but largely absent from beer.

Again: macro-brews. I really wish he would make that distinction. Belgium beers are usually fermenting in the bottle. And most craft beers have different tastes batch to batch. Macro-brews try hard to have consistency, much like McDonald’s french fries.

But in the end he is right. Americans are becoming more white collar and turning away from beer. Here in S.F., I am separated from the rest of the country. Every bar has a great selection of local and foreign craft brews. Our supermarkets have a wide choice too. Sometimes I assume people have stopped drinking crappy, tasteless beer, but in the heartland, Joe Six Pack is picking up a cheap 12ver which he’ll drink and then beat the wife or dog. Harsh I know, but it’s true. Better beer equals peace love and understanding. Now stop whining.