Will you look at this girl from the photo from a recent New York Times article? She stands near a field; salt of the earth, she is. And even though she has cutesy heart jewelry, she wears a jaded, world-weary look. Actually, she looks pissed off. Her name is Jami Waite, and she is the public face of Virginity Rules, an abstinence propaganda machine.
Teen pregnancy is down, although abstinence programs are not the reason for the decline. I’m guessing pregnancy is down due to better information being available. Studies have shown no difference between those who have abstinence indoctrination and those who don’t. Because of the lack of success, funding for these religious programs is being threatened, thank God.
I have no problem with people abstaining from sex, especially teenagers. Sexuality is a complicated beast (with two backs) and pregnancy and diseases can happen. What bothers me is the message that sex in a monogamous marriage is worth waiting for and completely satisfying. These kids are being sold a flesh pipe dream and that fur pie in the sky turns out to be not so tasty. Instead of giving these kids all the information and letting then make rational decisions, they give them bizarre metaphors. Here’s a quotation by Eric Love who runs Virginity Rules: (Eric Love? Jami Waite? Who named these people? Charles Dickens or perhaps Thomas Pynchon?)
…Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.”
Besides the risible dorkiness of the symbolisim, the message is premarital sex amounts to a piece of tape on a dirty floor. Why don’t they just force sexually-active girls to wear a red S on their shirts to announce their sluttiness. And this is mostly aimed at women. Why have the girl up above be the spokesperson? A double standard exists, and since these programs are faith-based the onus is on the woman to hold off and her reward is a relationship in which she is subservient to her husband.
Another sad fact is people change over time and not necessarily in sync with their spouses. According to statistics, 43% of new marriages end in divorce. And that’s not including all the people who stay in miserable marriages for the sake of religion or kids. I hope the best for Ms. Waite as she waits, but I advise her to have pre-martial safer sex. She should get to know her body, her likes, dislikes and her level of kink (or her complete lack of kink. I assume she has a low libido.). Knowledge of yourself will help a marriage far more than the religious platitudes about sex.
Teen pregnancy is down, although abstinence programs are not the reason for the decline. I’m guessing pregnancy is down due to better information being available. Studies have shown no difference between those who have abstinence indoctrination and those who don’t. Because of the lack of success, funding for these religious programs is being threatened, thank God.
I have no problem with people abstaining from sex, especially teenagers. Sexuality is a complicated beast (with two backs) and pregnancy and diseases can happen. What bothers me is the message that sex in a monogamous marriage is worth waiting for and completely satisfying. These kids are being sold a flesh pipe dream and that fur pie in the sky turns out to be not so tasty. Instead of giving these kids all the information and letting then make rational decisions, they give them bizarre metaphors. Here’s a quotation by Eric Love who runs Virginity Rules: (Eric Love? Jami Waite? Who named these people? Charles Dickens or perhaps Thomas Pynchon?)
…Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.”
Besides the risible dorkiness of the symbolisim, the message is premarital sex amounts to a piece of tape on a dirty floor. Why don’t they just force sexually-active girls to wear a red S on their shirts to announce their sluttiness. And this is mostly aimed at women. Why have the girl up above be the spokesperson? A double standard exists, and since these programs are faith-based the onus is on the woman to hold off and her reward is a relationship in which she is subservient to her husband.
Another sad fact is people change over time and not necessarily in sync with their spouses. According to statistics, 43% of new marriages end in divorce. And that’s not including all the people who stay in miserable marriages for the sake of religion or kids. I hope the best for Ms. Waite as she waits, but I advise her to have pre-martial safer sex. She should get to know her body, her likes, dislikes and her level of kink (or her complete lack of kink. I assume she has a low libido.). Knowledge of yourself will help a marriage far more than the religious platitudes about sex.
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